Over the past few months I have discovered that energy is a highly precious commodity. When I am tired, I feel entirely incapable and unmotivated for my normal daily tasks, let alone tasks that require belief and out-of-my-comfort-zone thinking. It helps me to see how people, especially those in high pressure jobs, can get addicted to substances like cocaine or Ritalin.
The past few days have been rough. Two nights ago I was up all night (and I mean all night) with a child who had the stomach flu. Then last night I woke up 4 different times for the baby, who I presume isn’t feeling all that great either. This has made the world a blurry and uninteresting place for me. One where cozy beds and hot soup sound like an overwhelming joy, and going out into the big bad world, a colossally bad idea.
Before remembering that fatigue is the enemy of dreams and aspirations, I was walking around doubting all my decisions and plans. Feeling that they weren’t exciting to me anymore, and wondering where I went wrong. Depression set in and I began to feel hopeless. But just yesterday I was giving a pep talk to another person about how they were tired and so seeking their comfort zone, but once energy returned, they’d want to follow those dreams of theirs. Remembering that talk made me realize it was the same for me at the moment.
Thinking back, I’m worried that I’ve sabotaged many an idea because of this phenomenon, and I’m sad about that. So I’ve decided to press forward methodically with the plan I’ve laid out for myself, and to give myself a break by taking naps and conquering big tasks and dreaming another day. After all, I’m not a robot. Life happens and I am going to react to it in all manner of ways. Remembering that is going to be key to my success.
And I’m going to take this as a reminder to seek out ways to increase my energy (naturally), and incorporate that into my plan.